Hands up if you belt along with Adele. Glad to see I’m not the only one. 🙂
Happy to say, “I have a free moment to write.” We don’t need to pick at the threads in the tapestry or unravel the why. But for the curious reader, this blog post was composed when Minnesotaland lay snuggled under her beautiful Autumnal quilt. That one all downy with clouds and speckled with starlight.
The cogs in my brain are oiled & spinnin’. It feels like I’m ready to process aloud again.
Life over the past few months has felt like some unexpected, unaired episode of “Survivor: New Mom Edition” is being filmed in my house…and I don’t remember auditioning for the role of “Tired, Crabby Woman Who Navigates Swamplands of Advice”. But here we are. 🙂
Joking aside, it does feel as though some unnamed fog is lifting. I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with Aurora hurdling over milestone after milestone in our sleep training routine.* Still can’t believe we’ve only been doing this since October 5th. 3 weeks in and my life has been flipped upside-down; back into sanity.
This Mama has been getting some SLEEP, y’all!
We could end this blog post right there. Drop the mic and just let that statement ripple out into the abyss. But that’s not how I roll. Once I’m a rested Jes, I’m back to functioning on all cylinders…which means: hunting up the metaphors to explain what I feel and practicing that all-important, somehow so difficult skill of remembrance. More specifically: committing to long-term memory those things that matter, cultivating gratitude for the rocks in the desert (whether they gush water or not**), and fighting the good fight, to constantly say no to distraction from my purpose: Love.
I’m not saying I’m killin’ the game here. Just the act of writing this down is convicting me that I’ve forgotten my purpose SO MANY FRICKIN’ TIMES over the past, I dunno, 24 hours? week? month? lifetime?!?
As Aurora Riviere Brookes rests and becomes, I have the opportunity to be fully present in this mama gig. That is 100% my choice, to be fully present. Stay at home mama or career mama, doesn’t matter, I could be fully present either way if I chose to be.
And what I’m learning is that the people that chose to be fully present, that put away distraction (ehem, hello iPhone in my back pocket whispering “escape this! play with ME!”), those who engage with the humans right in their faces; they make me feel loved and seen and known and valued.
And I wanna be one of those people: to my daughter, to my husband, to my housemate, to my neighbors, to my family and friends and house church community and any stranger that crosses my path. So, yeah, I’m still here. I’m not blogging (or sleeping) as much as I used to. But I’m still here, and I’ve got some coals in this tired old heart of mine that feel fanned into flame. I know Who to blame. 😉
*Joking and sarcasm are, in fact, two different people. But they are siblings…and Snark is their cousin.
**Lost? To unpack this further, see Exodus 17:1-7