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Intentionality

Hello and thanks for taking a “look-see”.

I’m glad your curiosity got the better of you, because just maybe, we’re going to have a deeper conversation. If you’re interested. No pressure. I mean that.

Who else has felt the weight of social obligation recently? Anyone? I identify as extroverted and social media has become too much for me. I’ve been playing with the idea of leaving it for over a year. As an extroverted, external processing, people-pleaser who wants to connect with others and finds joy & life in those connections, the decision has not come easily. Facebook is a great resource for communication, especially across distance. But, at least in my personal experience, it has also replaced authentic communication. I feel at times that Facebook has replaced our need to communicate in person. Instead of asking how you are, I already know because I read your recent posts. I am not okay with this. I would much rather see your eyes light up as you tell me about whatever recent circumstance is at the forefront of your brain, or see your photos with you there to narrate, and maybe get the chance to go slightly deeper than me reading about your life.

But in addition to the surface-only communication social media creates, I can’t do the volume anymore. I realistically cannot maintain hundreds of friendships. Sorry. It is important to me to do relationship well. So, in an effort to actually connect, I need to be more intentional about how I connect. And something has to give. So, I’m giving up the surface-level way I’ve used Facebook. And I know there will be consequences.

As a person who feels easily isolated from others, despite an ability to find common ground with anyone, choosing to disengage from the easiest place where people congregate is a tough call. I know I will feel like an outsider for no longer being on Facebook. My brain already doesn’t like that label. But would I rather know a few things about a lot of people or would I rather actually know a few people? I’ll pick the latter every time.

In the words of Sara Groves, “I am finite, I come to an end.” I literally do not have endless time or energy to spend on all things. I have to make decisions. And I’ve been so much happier and alive when I am not on my phone every moment of down time, reading entertainment on Facebook. I have craved stillness. And in the stillness, I am learning who I am. And who Jes is right now? Jes wants authenticity and reality and life and passion and peace. So, I’m going after those things, with the wisdom I have at my disposal.

Why a blog at all if I’m trying to connect in person? Because I need a place to talk publicly sometimes, and maybe someone will read this. Maybe not. But us external processors need something to talk at sometimes so we can know what we’re saying. 🙂 I do not intend to blog more than once a week (for now) and I am comfortable with that level of internet presence at this point in my life. We’ll see where this goes. If you’re feeling a Jes withdrawal, you can reach me here and we can do life a bit more slowly and intentionally.

Thanks for reading…please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 

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17 thoughts on “Intentionality

  1. Good for you. In the authentic sense of the phrase. This is good. for. you. Of course I am biased (ha ha). I say rip the plug out, baby! Like a band-aid!!

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  2. You are so beautiful Jes. I love your heart … and, your intentionality in which you go after things. May passion continue to burn and may your words influence and stir our hearts to deeper and more meaningful pursuits.

    I love you dearly.
    Gwyn

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  3. Beautifully and wonderfully stated! Thanks for letting us know, and especially for giving us a chance to follow your blog. Love you!

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  4. Wowza Jes!!

    Well said. Completely understood. And mad respect!

    Love from the Pagels. Ring us when you’re in town and coffee is on us (games would be fun too!).

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  5. I guess this makes me sad because you and Nayt live so far away and meeting in person and talking isn’t really a thing that can happen.

    But if you are being moved to take that step, then I understand.

    Miss you guys!

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    1. That was the major reason it took me so long to make this decision. I have many friends and family members that don’t live in Minnesota! 😦 But as you said, I still feel compelled to go forward with this. Doesn’t mean I won’t regret certain aspects of it. Oh, and we are planning to be in Cinci for the Christmas holidays this year. Game night?????

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  6. Jes, friend, sister. I am so proud of you. You are doing a beautiful thing by setting boundaries and fostering and growing deep relationships. Good job, lady!

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  7. This is something that I too have wanted to do but for some reason I am afraid to lose connection to those whom I don’t even talk to, such as old friends. I’m dependent on social media at this point, and I hate it. I applaud you for being able to take the leap and just do it. I will make more of an effort to message you, (sorry, I’m bad at it with everyone!) and hopefully see you in person sometime soon ♡

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  8. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ok, I’m not panicking. Yet. Seriously, I’ve been trying to cut back too. I haven’t figured out how to do that though when some of my family’s only connection to me currently is through FaceBook. So, I’ve decided to remain “with a Face” until I can figure that out as well. Love you. Mom

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